I have not written posts or songs lately and it is actually really sad! However, I have been in a season where my life is consumed with change, and stress, and frustration. Granted, God gives me days where I have this amazing joy that surpasses my understanding because I'm in the midst of stress. God is so good! I think I have diagnosed my situation though! I have been so worried about my priorities right now, that I have kind of kicked God to the curb. I h put on a mask that says, "Hey! I have most of my spiritual life all put together, and everything is going great!" The thing is though, is that once your life with Jesus starts to deteriorate, so does that mask. Your sin starts showing through, and God slowly exposes your the actual contents of your heart. By doing this, he starts gently (sometimes not as gently as we prefer) correcting you, and bringing you back to Him.
In this season, I have ignored the chance to write on my blog, to spend extra time with God, to write songs, and to become more of who God wants me to be. In the book, The Screwtape Letters by C.S Lewis, Screwtape, a demon says, "Indeed, the safest road to Hell is the gradual one-- the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without sign posts." This quote and the entire book caused me to start thinking deeply about the spiritual aspect of life.
Anyway, God really has been taking me in a different direction. He has pulled me away from my low point, and he is bringing me to a place where he has been calling me. Its hard to explain, but I know that he is calling and pursuing my heart. He is chasing me so relentlessly, and I am blown away by his passion and love for me! A hunger so passionate for Him is rising in me, and I am so overjoyed that his adoration for me is making me adore and love him with all I am. It is a process though! It is such a process, and it isn't easy. However, he is giving me that passion for Him, and I am finding that when I have that in me, I can place more of myself into His hands.
I am not the only one God is calling though. He is calling us all. He is not whispering your name hoping that some day you will turn to Him and be saved. God is shouting your name with a hard core love that we don't understand. He is so passionate about us, so in love with us, that he will not relent until we turn to Him. I can honestly say that He is the best thing that ever happened to me. The best decision I have ever made was to choose Him.